THE WORLD CUP ENDED, BUT TRUMP STILL WOULDN’T LEAVE THE STAGE
Spain had just won the World Cup after weeks of competition, 48 countries, and more than a hundred matches; it was time for Spain to take center stage and celebrate with the World Cup trophy after their victory over Argentina in the final on Sunday in New York.
It was their moment to celebrate together in front of the entire world.
Then Donald Trump decided it was also his moment.
Trump helped present the trophy and decided to cling to the stage like a guy clings to the female that took his virginity while the Spanish players celebrated. FIFA President Gianni Infantino eventually tried to guide him toward the side, but Trump still managed to remain in the victory shot as the trophy went into the air.
My question is: What the hell did Infantino think was going to happen?
Did he really think Trump wasn’t going to make the moment about himself?
We already watched this same shit happen last summer at the Club World Cup as Trump handed Chelsea its trophy and then stood directly in the middle of the team’s celebration. Chelsea player Cole Palmer later admitted he was confused because no one expected Trump to remain onstage during the trophy lift.
So FIFA was stupid enough to invite him back.
Donald Trump is all about Donald Trump. That has been made clear throughout his presidency. He doesn’t present a trophy; he becomes part of the championship team. He doesn’t visit a national monument; he redesigns it according to his personal and shitty taste.
The clearest accomplishment of his second term might be how successfully he has turned the office into a family cash machine. A Reuters investigation found that Trump and his sons had added at least$2.3 billion to the family fortune through their main cryptocurrency ventures since he returned to office. Still, whenever I post anything critical about him, some MAGA sycophant inevitably responds:
“He’s still your president, and he sleeps like a baby at night knowing he’s owning all you libs.”
You’re right.
He does sleep like a baby.
He shits his diaper, requires constant attention, wakes up throwing a tantrum, and then runs to Truth Social to cry, usually about Obama.
Nothing is ever his fault. Every problem is sabotage. Every criticism is fake news. Every embarrassing failure is somehow the work of vandals, Democrats, immigrants, Joe Biden, Obama or whichever random person wandered into his brain that morning.
Look at the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. The National Park Service, which caters to Trump’s agenda, says part of the newly renovated liner really was cut with a sharp tool, which we know is a fabrication of Trump’s mind. Recent pictures show the only damage done was probably from Trump’s own SUV, which was driven directly across the freshly coated pool before it reopened. There is no proof that the motorcade caused the later damage, but perhaps the guy who treated the Reflecting Pool like a fucking McDonald’s drive-through shouldn’t be so quick to act like every problem was part of a conspiracy against him.
Sometimes things go wrong, and it’s your own fault, and you have to admit that…
“You know what? I’m an idiot. I fucked this one up. Driving an armored motorcade across the newly coated Reflecting Pool probably wasn’t my brightest idea.”
Trump, however, will never admit fault. That’s not what narcissists do.
At the end of the day, the World Cup was great. It actually made me care about soccer for a couple of months, and I enjoyed myself while betting on some of the games.
Now that it’s over, I can return to finding the sport mostly boring and preferring to watch my clothes dry in the front-load washer while masturbating with sandpaper.
It’s just disappointing that one of the final images from an otherwise fantastic tournament was Donald Trump once again trying to make someone else’s accomplishment about himself.
The World Cup would have been better if Trump just stayed away for a few weeks, but then again, nearly everything would be better if he just disappeared.
