FAKE PEACE AWARDS AND WAR ON THE HORIZON

It’s a snowy Sunday morning here in northeast Ohio. The tree is finally up, the house is tastefully decorated with a simple silver-and-gold theme, done minimally, the way decor is supposed to be, and not like the newly redecorated Oval Office, which looks like somebody raided the clearance aisle at Home Depot and went wild with metallic spray paint.

And if that rumored ballroom ever becomes a real thing? Just imagine how fucking tacky and the amount of cheap Mara Lago hookers are going to make their way through those doors. But I digress.

Over the last week, reporting has pointed to a very good chance of the United States invading Venezuela with ground troops, with President Trump publicly hinting that “land attacks” are coming, and I’m sitting here asking myself why?

Because if we are, we need to ask ourselves what we are in this for?

The timing is perfect, I guess.

Happening just days after Trump accepted a newly created “FIFA Peace Prize”. It’s hard not to notice the pattern that the easiest way to deal with the man-child that is Donald Trump is to flatter him, gift him, celebrate him, pretty much blow him. Like most babies, he’s easily impressed with chiny objects. I’m convinced I can steal his attention by dangling my keys in front of his beat, ugly, orange face.

Let’s not forget that on the campaign trail, at his Cult 47 rallies, Trump repeatedly promised no new wars.

So again: what are we in this for?

The White House chief propagandist, Karoline Leavitt, wants MAGA to believe this is an anti-drug mission, but if you ask anyone who isn’t paid to bend the knee, the story doesn’t cleanly add up.

Most illegal fentanyl, which is the primary killer in U.S. overdose deaths, is not coming from Venezuela; it is overwhelmingly tied to Mexico-based supply chains, and there is no evidence of it being made in Venezuela, according to Independent narcotics experts, international organizations, and U.S. government data.

Venezuela is not innocent when it comes to the drug trade, however, and is part of the regional narcotics ecosystem, where cocaine remains a problem, but the main problem countries for cocaine are known to be Colombia, Peru, and Bolivia.

Then what’s left in justifying this war?

Venezuela has long been a target for U.S. pressure campaigns for regime change, and the reality is that Maduro isn’t exactly hard to criticize.

But it’s also true that Venezuela sits on a massive trove of crude oil reserves — and Trump has already said he’d “keep the oil” from a seized tanker, announcing it in classic Trump fashion, like it was another trophy for the Oval Office.

Maybe this is really about forcing Maduro out?

Maybe it’s about oil?

Or maybe that douche, Pete Hegseth, who has turned the Department of Defense into the Department of War, and talks about conflict the way a crackhead talks about twenty dollars. The guy, who more than likely has already committed war crimes, comes off like he’s itching for conflict and the use of deadly force.

This is what reality TV leadership gets you.

The United States picking on Venezuela right now feels like Ohio State dressing 70 players, loading up the buses, and driving to Hiram to run it up on a traditionally weak D3 team and then pounding its chest like it accomplished something historic, which is exactly the kind of stunt “Summer Eve” Hegseth would pull.

That’s what “America First” is starting to look like — that, and up to $40 billion for Argentina.