GOLDEN DOME? THEY DO MEAN TRUMP’S COMB OVER, RIGHT?

The Pentagon is at it again—proposing a billion-dollar “Golden Dome” missile defense system designed to shield the homeland from airborne threats, bad vibes, and possibly Canadian geese. But before we mortgage another future generation to fund a space umbrella, let’s pause and ask the real question:

Why build a Golden Dome… when Donald Trump’s comb-over already exists?

Think about it. For nearly a decade, Trump’s majestic, honey-blonde hair-sail has hovered above him like a national monument. It’s defied hurricanes, Marine One downdrafts, and even fact-checks.

Why waste taxpayer dollars on gold-plated radar panels when we already have a swirling mass of living, golden insulation resting just north of Trump’s forehead?

Military advisors claim the new system will offer 360-degree coverage. Cute. Trump’s hair has been offering full-spectrum deflection since 2015—truth, science, accountability… all expertly rerouted around that miraculous follicular forcefield. You could shoot a missile at it, and it would file a defamation lawsuit before impact.

But before Congress signs off on another defense contract, consider this: The real Golden Dome is already deployed. It’s made of finely lacquered ambition, held together with industrial-grade mousse and denial, and it lives rent-free in both America’s head and Donald’s scalp.

Plus, his dome has field-tested resilience. It’s survived impeachment, press briefings, and direct exposure to Rudy Giuliani. Can the military’s do that?

Save the money. Fund a stylist. America’s already covered.