DATING PROFILE DETECTIVE WORK

Internet dating is wild because people will tell you everything you need to know without actually telling you anything.

You just have to use context clues.

For example, look at the background of the pictures. Wood paneling behind her? That could mean one of two things: a single-wide trailer or grandma’s basement. And listen, I’m not judging. There’s nothing wrong with a single-wide. Some of the most fun, unhinged, ride-or-die women I’ve ever met had a little white-trash streak in them. Sometimes that’s not a red flag but proceed with caution.

Occupation matters too. If her job says “Krusty Krab,” she is either unemployed, or has absolutely done questionable things for $20 and a polar pop….probably both.

Also, PLEASE stop believing every 10/10 profile that randomly matches with you and immediately acts like you’re the man of her dreams. A legit 10/10 usually isn’t sitting around on a dating site waiting for a guy named Mikey with 9 teeth, no license, and a sub 600 credit score. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

That “I need $40 to fix my phone so I can keep talking to you” message? Scam.

That “I have a flat tire and need money before I can come see you” message? Scam.

That “I love you” after 17 minutes? Scam

The point is simple…don’t be gullible. Internet dating already has enough traps, hookers, bots, and people using pictures taken on a Black Berry from 2010 with multiple filters.

Be smart and use them context clues and remember if it’s to good to be true then she’s probably not real.